A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine. We were commiserating about being to a point in our lives where all of our "nice" clothes were 10 years old and either no longer fit or were completely out of style. We both used to feel like we had a decent style and were pretty with it. Now we just felt frumpy. We both decided we wanted to find that fun, hip, stylish person we were and translate her in a fun, hip, stylish person now.
What happened? How did we get here? Well let's see. In the last 10 years I have been pregnant four times. I have nursed for over two years and in the times when I wasn't trying to get pregnant, pregnant or nursing I was trying to get back to a size I could live with. I've spent the majority of the last 10 years letting pregnancy and nursing dictate my wardrobe. I no longer remember that shirts are meant to be tucked in - at least occasionally, and that belts exist! Add to that the drain having four children put on the budget and at the end of the day there is not a lot of time or money to put toward taking care of me. And then there is the guilt I feel when I do actually spend time and money on myself all the while thinking of the hundreds of other ways the resources could have been used.
During our conversation, I realized another problem too. I kept telling myself that I would spend money on better clothing when I lost all the weight. Or that I would get a new hairstyle/whiten my teeth/get a pedicure as a reward for losing a certain amount of weight. What became crystal clear in this conversation was that waiting on all those things hadn't motivated me to lose weight! So now instead of just being fat, I was now fat, unstylish and a slob! My friend pointed out that maybe if I started doing other things to take care of myself that the weight loss would follow!
What a novel concept! If I have a good self image I might be more motivated to lose weight! I decided she had the right idea. To that end we arranged a Saturday morning to go buy a few new things for ourselves. We also are holding each other accountable to self care. Meaning we compliment each other when we notice stylish clothing or stlyed hair or make up. And we offer gentle reminders when none of those things are present. Since this epiphany I have showered more frequently, styled my hair regularly, put on make up almost every single day and put some thought in to what I wear most days. I feel good! I feel much more like me.
And you know what? I haven't eaten quite as much these last few weeks. Wonder what the scale will say on Tuesday? Will I be up or down? I don't know, but either way I'm feeling better about me!
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2 comments:
Brilliant idea. In fact, I've taken to it as well.
Granted, there aren't a lot of "fat girl" clothes that are as cute as the size 2's they put in store windows, but with some attention to detail (which I owe myself, really) I can come up with some cute things to celebrate me.
There are many excuses we can use to put ourselves behind others but even in doing so (giving salad to hubby) you can find postives...I didn't eat the bread, passed on dessert too and had an extra glass of water.
When you feel good about yourself, it's easier to seek out the positive and realize that you're worth it...and you are!
Brilliant idea. In fact, I've taken to it as well.
Granted, there aren't a lot of "fat girl" clothes that are as cute as the size 2's they put in store windows, but with some attention to detail (which I owe myself, really) I can come up with some cute things to celebrate me.
There are many excuses we can use to put ourselves behind others but even in doing so (giving salad to hubby) you can find postives...I didn't eat the bread, passed on dessert too and had an extra glass of water.
When you feel good about yourself, it's easier to seek out the positive and realize that you're worth it...and you are!
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